After leaving home and taking what I thought would be a quick route into Canterbury from Ashford, I arrived at the hospital about 8:15am. I walked into the ITU and found that Louise was going to be Heather’s nurse for the day. Heather was awake but still very drowsy and it was suggested that she might have a urine infection, which could explain why she is so sleepy. I also found out that she was going to leave ITU today and be moved to the High Dependency Unit (HDU). I went to breakfast with hopes for a better day. After all, she must be getting better if she is coming out of intensive care.
After getting back from breakfast, I had to wait in the waiting area, as ward rounds were still in progress. Once they were over, I found out that because she was still drowsy and they weren’t sure why, Heather was going to go for a head scan before going to the HDU. We packed everything up, said goodbye to the ITU and made our way through the hospital to the CT/MR Unit for her scan. During the scan, Heather’s parents arrived and had some coffee while the scan took place. The scan itself only took ten minutes and we made our way through the Kent Ward and onto the empty HDU.
At 10:55am, Heather was hooked up to her monitors and her parents arrived in the unit. We spent some try talking to her, occasionally raising a smile before all heading off for lunch at midday.
Things were pretty quiet over lunch. Heather’s Dad needed to call some people in order to cancel appointments planned for this evening. After lunch, we went back to the HDU and tried to engage Heather in conversation. Although the HDU is nice enough, we found it even gloomier than the ITU. It’s got windows, but Heather is situated in the position farthest away from natural light. She only got a couple of hours sleep last night, so we were hoping that natural light may help sort out her sleep patterns. Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to work.
Heather’s parents and I did manage to make Heather laugh a few times. It was a wonderful sight to see and it brought a tear to my eye. Dr. Dent arrived shortly after to let us know that the CT scan had come back clear, so at present they are still none the wiser to why Heather is still so drowsy. She’s been put on some new antibiotics as well. Louise also took time to give Heather a hair wash, which she seemed to enjoy. I must say, her hair looked a lot better afterwards and keeping it wet helped to cool her down, as her temperature was a little high. She also had some water and was offered yoghurt. Sadly, she couldn’t feed herself, so we fed it to her. However, it was mandarin flavour, which Heather really didn’t like, so we gave up after two spoonfuls.
John and I went for coffee at 2:20pm and sat in the coffee bar discussing Heather’s progress to date. Overall, we have been glad with her progress, but I expressed my frustrations over how long it was taking to bring her back to full health. I know I’m being impatient, but if it was your other half in Heather’s situation, how would you feel?
When was got back, we found out that Heather had been given raspberry yoghurt and had managed to finish the whole pot!!! We were chuffed to find this out. At least she was eating something.
The physio arrived at 3:50pm and was going to try sitting her up in a chair. While they did this, we retired to the seating area in the Kent Ward. I fell asleep while we were out there; not the most comfortable of sleeps, but I could barely keep my eyes open. When we were allowed back, we found that Heather hadn’t been put in the chair after all. Apparently she didn’t want it. Margaret told John and I that Jake had come up in discussion with the nurses and Heather starting crying, especially when it was mentioned that it was his birthday at the weekend.
At 4:50pm, Heather parents went home and I sort of fell apart at that point. I think we had been spoiled with her progress over the weekend and I was upset by the small progress that took place today. Just seeing her lying there in bed looking the way she did broke my heart and once Louise saw that I was upset, the floodgates opened. Unfortunately, as I was crying, it set Heather off too. She recovered quicker than I did, so Louise kindly made me a cup of tea, which actually helped a little (just not much)
By 5:45pm, Heather was all but dropping off to sleep again and I said my goodnights and left.
As I walked down the corridors, the sad music that they used to play at the end of The Incredible Hulk played in my mind. Our families and friends have all been wonderful during this time, but at that point I felt intolerably lonely. I feel as if I’ve had a limb removed; a big part of my being is missing and I’d do anything to get it back. I know that she’ll get better over time, but it’s so very hard to see her like this. By the time I got back to the car, I sat there with the engine running in floods of tears. I needed ten minutes to gather myself before I could drive to Dad’s for dinner. I gave them the usual end of day report, trying to compose myself as I did.
I’m trying to be strong for Heather, but I think I need to have a good cry. I’ve got to get the pain I’m feeling out.
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